28th
So
I don’t know if this whole new schedule overdrive was such a good idea. I feel like i’m losing parts of myself with everyday that passes,
and putting more focus on things that i always hate.
Check ins. Deadlines. Alarm clocks. Technical data. Hello. please. thank you. sorry. time. deadlines. enter data. time. deadlines. enter data. alarm. alarm. alarm. time. time.
When it was just one job, i still had time to take interest in other things. Now, i think i took on too much at once. Herbology, i want to know more. I don’t have the time to pick up a book anymore though.
I find it very strange how the idea of doing everything i love all at the same time seemed like heaven, but, now that i’m in it, i only have time for the work part. No more of myself. I’m the machine now.
I miss cooking. I miss mixing. I miss creating. I miss wearing no pants for long periods of time throughout the day. I miss learning.
I’m the robot.
I’m not happy. I’m more emotional. I’m exhausted. I’m not myself.
Quit this job? i don’t know.
I dont know!
I still have the job during the day, i’ll always keep that one. Its family business, its my dad, and its fixing cars, and i like it. Maybe just get a different night job?
i’m stuck.
rock.me.hardplace.
