20th
Party?
Just got home from a party and i’m starting to question a lot. Well, not starting too, just, my feathers are really ruffled by my surrounding age group.
I was very excited about it to be honest, i’ve been needing some kind of social stimulation and this was the perfect opportunity, right down the block and someone i’ve known for a while, and friends i’ve had in the past and present.
I spiked my juice box and headed down the street.
Its 12:30 now, i got there around 10:30.
Nobody seems to be interested or interesting. Once i failed attempts at conversation with a handfull, i knew i had to leave.
This is how most of it went.
me: hey, i haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?
nameless: oh yeah, hey, i’m good you?
me: pretty good myself.
nameless: oh good.
(most ended there, me sensing their lack of interest in anything i could say, or they just so bluntly walked away, if it continued, it went like this.)
nameless: so, what school do you go to.
(why oh why does it matter, my mental thought.)
me: actually, no school, its not for me.
nameless: oh cool.
me: yeah, what about you though? any school?
nameless: yeah, “school name here”
And, thats pretty much it.
I wondered what everyone else was having such a good time talking about. Everyone else was so chatty and happy, so, i tried again. I found somone i knew i had a shared interest with, and tried to talk about that.
It went like this.
me: hey, when you texted me a while ago i was actually in boston, i saw ryan adams!
nameless: oh cool, how was it?
me: it was perfect. you should see him if you get the chance.
nameless: yeah man. so, what were you in boston for?
me: oh, to see ryan adams, i thought i said that.
nameless: oh. yeah. cool man.
me: yeah, so i’m guessing you don’t listen to him much anymore then? so, what do you? do you still play?
nameless: yeah, music and stuff.
me: cool, good thing.
(me awkwardly exiting)
I found out that there conversations were about youtube videos and how drunk they were last week, there life in bars and what school they go to.
None of that matters to me.
Big picture? economy? politics? great books? great music? life? opinions? views? thoughts?
thoughts?
In case you havent noticed, it was a very unfulfilling party.
I came home with heart burn and a lack of interest in anybody.
I know that it might be some peoples kind of outlet or something, and i wouldn’t disagree with or fight that, on a crap day i look forward to a glass of red wine or some kind of mixed drink to warm my insides. If its in moderation and in a healthy environment, it can be a kind of therapy to deal with the hardships or just a bad day. But, its not, not with them and not with mostly anybody i knew or know.
Its their lifestyle.
And everyone i’ve come across is poisoned.
I will never understand.
